Why I Gave Up On Sleep Training My Baby - From the Reject Pile

My daughter was a contact sleeper and cluster feeder from the start. She nursed every hour, on the hour, for at least the first six months of her life. I was prepared for breastfeeding 8 times a day, not 16. This meant she insisted that we nurse to sleep, and she only slept if we were in contact.

I tried so many things just to get her to sleep on her own in those first few weeks. I tried different methods of swaddling. I bought different products to help her sleep, and when they didn’t work, I went shopping for more. The question went from, “When will my baby sleep on her own?” To, “How much money do I need to spend before my baby will sleep on her own?”

But nothing I did or bought could replace what my baby was really searching for in the middle of the night: me.

No white noise machine could replace the sound of my heartbeat. No swaddle could replace my warmth.

So one day, I just gave up on sleep training her. My husband had gone back to work, and I was home alone with my infant daughter, still on unpaid maternity leave. I was hungry and exhausted, and so was she. So I scarfed down some food and looked up breastfeeding positions for laying on your side. Then I stuck her on the boob, moved away the blankets, put a small pillow in the crook of my neck, and nursed her to sleep. We both slept. It was the best sleep I had gotten in the weeks since having a baby.

And I knew, after I woke up from that awesome nap, that this was how it was going to be. We had found what worked for us.

I felt guilty, of course. Cosleeping is not advised and there are good reasons for that. And, of course, it’s generally frowned upon. I’ve gotten lots of comments about it, some judgemental, some well-meaning.

But on the other hand, I’ve found nothing beats good sleep.

My husband (who doesn’t have a problem with me cosleeping with our daughter) also pointed out that mamas have been cosleeping with their babies since the dawn of time. How am I any different?

And I'm hardly the only one struggling with her baby sleeping. I have a mom friend whose baby slept in a swing for the first few months because it was the only way he would sleep, too. She felt torn because, like cosleeping, she was advised not to do that. However, he wasn't sleeping, and neither was she and her husband…so they did what worked for them. He's sleeping in a crib now that he's older.

We all find what works.

And if sleep training or certain sleep products helped you? I say, good! I'm glad you found something that helps you and your baby get some much-needed rest. Heaven knows we need it.

Instead of a crib, we ended up getting a twin-sized floor bed for our daughter. She loves crawling up on it and grabbing a book to read, cuddled up with her giant gnome plushy. It’s her safe space. I know she can get in and out of it to play freely without hurting herself, and she doesn’t need to scream for me to come get her. For us, this is what works.

Sleeping on her own (finally).

Now that she’s entering her toddler years, she is sleeping more on her own. I still need to nurse her to sleep, but I can now slip away and spend a few hours getting some freelance work or chores done. And we’re now starting to practice sleeping on her own at night.

But you know…sometimes being a mom is just exhausting, so I’ll still steal a nap with her every now and then. And I’ve learned to cherish those little snuggles. I know my baby girl will sleep on her own someday. For now, though, it’s okay that she doesn’t. Happy sleeping.

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This was a rejected submission to Her View From Home. I do kind of feel like it's wasn't my strongest submission ever, and I can see why they rejected it.

I think a lot of parents will find it relatable, though. Who doesn't struggle with getting their newborn on a sleep schedule?

We've all been there and I wish you the best on your journey on getting your baby to sleep.

#FromtheRejectPile #Rejection #Parents #Baby #Cosleeping